Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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