Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
