thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
