Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
