I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
