Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
