I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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