i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
