you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize