after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
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so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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