uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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