Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
