Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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