I want to stick my p in your. b.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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