So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why do cheetos always look like penises
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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