I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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