Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
