Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
