I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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