I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
