mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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