i permit you to call me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BRING THE BAGELS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
