I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
