New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
