went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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