normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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