Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
