Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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