just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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