Non-Jews are for practice
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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