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:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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