I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
