Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
