If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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