I love black thongs
Betty ford says i'm here all night
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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