She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't deserve a penis
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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