so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
