So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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