Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize