worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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