Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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