She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
