it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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