Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
