did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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