Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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