I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
