JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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