So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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