i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
