i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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