She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
