Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
