Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize