Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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