im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize