you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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