People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
