So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize