Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
