She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
