You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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