quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
