ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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