it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
