take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
